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Post by Mortiss V3 on Sept 15, 2008 11:04:04 GMT -5
*Mortiss arrives outside the walls of Xiang Yang with his whole army. He had moved straight from Wan to the city*
2 Catapults
1600 Ruffian Bowmen
200 Veteran Crossbow
865 Militia Horse Lancer
1000 Militia Horse Archers
300 Elite Twin Swords
100 Scouts
90 Medics
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Post by Mortiss V3 on Sept 16, 2008 10:58:26 GMT -5
*The army had been camped outside the walls for a day and still there was no sign of anybody in Xiang Yang putting up a resistance or even a negotiation. Mortiss was getting irratated by their lack of respect and decided it was time to make the ignorant governor take him seriously. So with his small force of 300 Elite Twin Swords he approached the city walls and shouted into the city as loud as he could*
"YOU DARE IGNORE MORTISS? YOU WILL SUFFER SEVERLY FOR YOUR DISRESPECT!!!! THIS CITY IS NOW UNDER MY CONTROL! SURRENDER NOW AND YOUR LIVES MAY YET BE SPARED!!!!! REFUSE MY GENEROUS OFFER AND ALL THE MEN WILL DIE! THE CHILDREN WILL BECOME SLAVES! YOUR WOMEN RAPED! YOUR TREASURES PLUNDERED! THE WHOLE CITY WILL BURN WITH THE FIRES OF THE WRATH I SHALL INFLICT UPON YOU!"
*He awaited a reply*
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Post by Dark Narrator on Sept 16, 2008 11:59:23 GMT -5
The people of Xiang Yang were having a group lunch, in the center of the city as they usually do, when Mortiss appeared outside to yell vile words of evilness. They had heard of the Morty Beast, a creature who dwelled in the Central Plains, and many pooped their pants before running to their houses. Wei had done it again, uprooting the normal lives of the people for their own warmongering-ness. Hell, was it really necessary to attack during their lunch? Could it not wait a few days or what not?
F'n Morty!
"Why you scoundrel!" a voice yelled from the ramparts. It sounded like Dian Wei only with much more man to him. Hell, it sounded like it was Dian Wei mixed with Lu Bu and Xu Chu. Yes, scary indeed.
"Luo Yang? Wan? They were not enough you slithering scum from Wei?"
Mortiss would probably smile, as he loved to be abused like his mama did to him, but maybe the creature could be taunted into doing something rash.
What would not make him smile was the fact that the person speaking to him was actually a woman!
There, upon the walls, which were buckling, was a mammoth lady pushing at least 500 lbs. She had 8 soldiers moving with her, just in case she swayed too far and fell back into the city. Such an event would trigger an earthquake which would decimate the city and all around it. She had a full beard, even nicer than that of Guan Yu, and pieces of chicken were still hanging from it.
"You want piece?" she yelled, but she did not mean the chicken.
The gate opened slowly and after about a half hour she finally appeared in the gateway.
Was she going to duel Morty the Beast? Maybe or she was just blocking his way into the city.
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Post by Mortiss V3 on Sept 19, 2008 13:06:33 GMT -5
(Are you serious?)
*Mortiss stood silently upon this strange turn of events. His mouth was wide open, his tongue hanging by the side of his mouth dropping saliva onto the dusty plain. He could not believe what he was seeing, he had fought many strange beings in his time but this was something completely new. A fat woman so repulsive that she made the animal Mortiss look attractive. As she waddled her way through the gateway Mortiss could not help but burst into mocking laughter which was soon followed by his elite twin swords laughing and pointing. After a few minutes of incessant chuckling Mortiss stepped forward apart from his men and drew his double blades of dysfunction twirling them in a circle with his wrists cutting the air.*
"So have you come to offer your surrender pig woman?"
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Post by Xiahou Dun on Sept 19, 2008 19:44:13 GMT -5
Mortiss, the wild beast of Wei was, if anything, the least predictable person in this chaotic world. Normally at least setting up defenses in a new territory would be the first objective for a general. The man's absence in Wan hadn't suprised Xiahou Dun though, he thought for a minute that the louse had simply slipped in and out of the Wei provinces sacking bandit camps, or something to keep his mind entertained. Dun knew that the sound of his rattling chain being dragged along the ground would soon give him away, and now he had come to pick up this animals chain again.
However he was engaging a beast in it's own right, this would be the beast of Xiang Yang. An unaterualy large.... thing, stood in the gate way of mortisses misguided attempt at expanding the wei kindom, appearing to wish to rip apart mortiss as he undoubtedly wanted to in return. Xiahou Dun thus was contempt to sit and watch to see if Mortiss would win the day and the new City for Mengde.... besides he only brought his calvary to catch mortiss and his band of vagabonds. As such the foot soilders were not yet here.
Troops:
500 Horsebowmen Veteran
200 Horsemen Spear and Sheild Elite
Xiahou Dun rode ahead with his calvary to reinforce Mortiss should this turn into a battle!
Otherwise he will wait for his foot soilders before doing anything but watch the beast v.s. beast battle.
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Post by Dark Narrator on Sept 20, 2008 13:03:52 GMT -5
The time was right for an epic battle of two bizarre creatures, one a general under the famed Cao Mengde, and the other a mammoth woman from Xiang Yang. She went by the name Big Rhonda but that could not be farther from the truth. Big did not do her justice, she was gi-normous!
"Gwoooooaaaaarrr!" she bellowed, letting her animalistic intincts take over and a massive battle roar. If Mortiss did not shit his pants by now, he probably would when 500+ came steaming toward him like an out of control train.
The scream was not toward Mortiss though and it seemed she had stepped on a sharp rock. Rhonda could not wear any shoes because there was not enough material in the city to make them. Her outfit itself was just roughly 30 bed sheets strung together in one big ass robe.
Did Morty want to find out what was beneath?
Huh.
"Morty!"
In what seemed to be a major shift in the situation, Big Rhonda turned from what looked like a raging dragon beast into a drooling fan!
"I told them all, my sweet! I told them you would come to Xiang Yang and that the city fortune teller was right!" she said, leaning up against the wall casually to look hot for Mortiss. Unfortunately, the effect was minimal as she was already pressed up against each side of the gateway.
The guards and soldiers preparing on the walls all looked to one another and made faces of disgust. Not only that, a few men could be heard vometing over the side of the wall into the city.
"Come to me Morty, it is time for the Two Beasts to become One!!"
Lucious red kisses were floating through the air toward Mortiss like a thousand arrows raining down upon him. Oh, death would be imminent in either situation. Big Rhonda was known to be a little rough and liked to kill her love like a lady preying mantis.
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Post by Xiahou Dun on Sept 20, 2008 17:09:41 GMT -5
(ooc: Double U - Tea - Eff........ )
Xiahou Dun had... apparently.... if nothing else arrived right at the good part. Now with one eye Dun wasn't much of a 'looker', so to speak, for himself but had this women just said what he heard? Did she understand Chineese? Was her grammer that bad? Or did she just mix her sentence structer or something? Well not being an english major I don't know what the case may be but nether did Dun. Though the intrest in what mortiss would do now was all Dun could focus on to keep himself from laughing hesterically.
Again..... double u - tea - eff....
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Post by Xiahou Dun on Sept 22, 2008 22:56:02 GMT -5
OOC: I honestly think you scared motiss away from the site with that one o.o
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Post by Dark Narrator on Sept 22, 2008 23:03:36 GMT -5
Wei has been defeated by a large beastly woman!!
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Post by Mortiss V3 on Sept 24, 2008 16:18:25 GMT -5
Whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I aint been scared off!
chill out!!!!!!!!!!
I've been busy recently with shit, I will get a post up soon!!!!!!!
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Post by Xiahou Dun on Sept 24, 2008 23:16:40 GMT -5
OOC: well have fun, I've orders elsewhere.
Just as it had gotten intresting Dun had been requested to head to Luo Yang. Summoned by a scribe of Master Li Dan with orders from Mengde. So it was he snapped the reigns of his horse and began to lead his calvary back to the main unit, it head it back up north to Luo Yang.
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